


Rain Stopped Play

by sourassin (scherryzade)



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Tennis, Crack, Gen, Wimbledon - Freeform, in the form of a snarky sports blog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-09
Updated: 2013-08-09
Packaged: 2017-12-22 23:18:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/919198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scherryzade/pseuds/sourassin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>150,000 glasses of Pimms, 112,000 punnets of strawberries, 17,000 bottles of champagne and, oh yes, several hundred pairs of little white shorts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rain Stopped Play

**Author's Note:**

> For a prompt on the old 1st Class Kink Meme in 2011: "Watching Wimbledon at the moment makes me want a tennis AU like a burning fire. Maybe Charles and Erik make up number one seeded men's double team? Or they face off against each other on centre court? Or even as coaches to the children etc? As cracky or as serious as you like, OP does not mind. Please, just anything at all Wimbledon related."
> 
> Original prompt [here](http://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/4418.html?thread=7185474#t7185474).
> 
> It manifested not simply as crack but as snarky sports blog crack. WTF, self? I hardly watch sports of any kind, let alone tennis. But then, when I do, it tends to be in conjunction with the snarktastic bloggers on the Guardian sport website, so I suppose it's inevitable. I know nothing about tennis, so all stats and jargon are from Wiki-p and the wee leaflet that came with my DVD of 'Wimbledon'. 
> 
> ...also the formatting really doesn't work in AO3 and I'm too lazy to mock it up to look more like LJ, nor update it to reference Tumblr instead...

**rainstoppedplay.livejournal.com**

She cannot be serious ([badballgirl](badballgirl.livejournal.com)) wrote in [rainstoppedplay](rainstoppedplay.livejournal.com),

@ 2011-06-19 17:23:58

 **Entry tags:** ill-advised bets, stocking up on pimms, wimbledon wobblies

### Are you ready for this?

150,000 glasses of Pimms, 112,000 punnets of strawberries, 17,000 bottles of champagne and, oh yes, several hundred pairs of little white shorts.

That's why we're going to Wimbledon, but in case you're actually interested in the tennis, we're also going to tell you our hot tips for hotness on court. Everybody else is all blah blah Rafa this, blah blah Roger that, so we're switching it up and giving you a different breed of player.

**The Nearly Man**

Charles Xavier is the darling of the Middle England tennis groupies, winning their hearts through a combination of self-deprecating charm, shy smiles and incalculable poshness. Unfortunately, hearts are the only thing he's winning - Chuck barely scrapped through the qualifiers this year after crashing out of the French Open (and dropping to 119 in the rankings - ouch). Xavier has a uncanny knack for reading his opponents' techinique, but he lacks the killer instinct that could get him past the second round. Or, if we're being honest, past the first, given that he's up against rising US star Alex Summers, who's been causing havoc across the game since he blazed into the final of the US Open last year.

But we're rooting for Xavier, because he's lovely, although don't tell the natives that this blushing English rose is, in fact, American-born, and still holds dual citizenship. Rumour has it this will be his last Grand Slam attempt before he retires to start a tennis school on the Xavier estate (grab your rackets, girls, and get yourself to Westchester, New York), so here's hoping he'll serve up something special as a farewell to the game.

**The Wildcard**

Erik Lehnsherr, in contrast, is all killer instinct, no finesse. His brutal opening serve has broken the nerve of many an opponent, but anyone with a cooler head than Lehnsherr - which pretty much means anyone ranked above No. 238 - has it easy against this former World No. 2. A protégé of former World Champion (and resurgent World No. 3, on which more later) Sebastian Shaw, the two had an apparently spectacular falling out two years ago, and Lehnsherr is only now returning to the game, which means he's lucky to be here on a wildcard. He doesn't want to talk about it. He doesn't want to talk about much, in fact, and he probably knows 200 ways to kill you with his racket, but that deadly serve makes him our choice for 'most likely to cause an upset, oo-er missus'.

Whether that takes place on court or not remains to be seen. Irish No. 1 (oi, no laughing at the back) Sean Cassidy, whose high-pitched yelps of victory have earnt him more than a few reprimands from pompous umpires, is up against Lehnsherr in round 1. Their match isn't for two days, but Cassidy already looks like he wants to cry.

**The Comeback King**

Sebastian Shaw - what can we say? No really, what can we say? We know how old Shaw is, but the last person to mention it is still missing. So while we're cowering, let's just say that the preternaturally youthful Seb has risen above the allegations of drug use and only sued five media outlets since January. And if you're wondering just who the hell Seb Shaw is, and why your momma is swooning, let's just say that back in the day, when he was as much a threat on the dance floor as the tennis court, he once made John McEnroe cry.

On the tennis court, not the dance floor. As far as we know. Anyway, he's up against some Canadian in the first round, but the way Shaw's been playing lately, taking everything his opponents throw at him and sending it straight back with twice the power, then, simply put, the Canuck won't know what hit him.

And that, sports fans, is our pre-Tournament hot tip special. If you lose any money on these guys, then, well, too bad. You should do as we do, and sip the champagne, chug the Pimms, scoff the strawberries and ogle the men in little white shorts.

That's all for now, but we will be there, and here, to bring you all the news the BBC don't broadcast, even if rain stops play.  
  


 


End file.
